Is money tearing your marriage apart? M&J expose the relationship wrecker more dangerous than sexual infidelity.

It's not the crime, it's the cover-up. In politics and in marriage, the old lesson applies. And this provocative new book makes a compelling case that financial infidelity--lying to your partner about how much you spend, secretly playing the stock market or piling up debts--can be just as damaging to a relationship as adultery. "The dangerous thing about financial infidelity," writes Weil, "is not the secret itself, but the act of conscious deception in a relationship." Weil, a psychologist in New York City with 30 years of experience counseling troubled couples, takes an uncompromising position: "There's no such thing as an innocent financial fib." Even if you don't accept her zero-tolerance approach--Weil frowns on even the surreptitious picking of your partner's clothing pockets or wallet for extra cash--financial faithlessness may be more widespread than you think. According to a recent Harris poll, 40% of all adults in a committed relationship admitted to lying to their partner about spending habits.

It’s imperative to talk about money in some capacity – your opinions, views, habits, etc. early on in the relationship, hopefully before you even cement your relationship by having sex! That may seem extreme, but who wants to go down the road to sexual intimacy only to have it torn apart by a struggle in the realm of financial compatibility?

A study published in the July/August 2006 issue of the European Journal of Social Psychology suggests that powerful people are more likely to take risks. The authors of the study theorized that high-powered individuals often benefit when they make choices that are considered high-risk. The more power these people believe they have, the more risk they are willing to take. However, this behavior can set up an incredibly damaging dynamic. Consider, for instance, the number of scandals that regularly arise involving high-powered executives, wealthy stock-market investors, or political figures. I’m quite sure that former president Bill Clinton never believed he would get caught when he embarked on an affair with a White House intern.

The women’s lib movement helped give women the power to do anything they wanted – yet in some ways has contributed to a power struggle between men and women ever since. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing – after all, if we’re not struggling, we’re not growing! - but we need to be aware of it, and how it can manifest itself in our relationships.

When her husband gave one of her coats to charity while she was at work, Tara Padua Wise got her vengeance. At the mall.

Love and money go hand in hand which is why financial infidelity is often just as damaging to a relationship as a physical affair. Just ask Kathy Griffin.

While Financial Infidelity Seven steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker is not a book targeted to business partners,many of the lessons and exercises offered up in the book can be adapted to business partners - okay not the one where the author Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil suggests that:

Love and money go hand in hand which is why financial infidelity is often just as damaging to a relationship as a physical affair. Just ask Kathy Griffin.

Financial Infidelity and Doctor Bonnie were the subject of a four minute video on the Wall Street Journal Digital TV network on June 23,2008 View the video here: http://online.wsj.com/page/8_0004.html?guid={35E0CD84-B377-4C08-8F3F-5032A2B6F254}

In Financial Infidelity, Bonnie Eaker Weil, a New York-based relationship therapist, writes about why spouses lie to each other about money and how to stop. She argues that any kind of fib, even failing to tell a partner about a purchase, is a problem. U.S. News spoke with Weil about how to deal with money conflicts in relationships.

Alison, a 32-year-old mother of two in Huntington Woods, Michigan, has a weakness for shoes, blue jeans, and purses—and it drives her husband crazy. When their credit-card statement arrives, he scolds her "like I'm a little kid about my 'addiction to spending,'" she says.

Pat Farnack's full converstion with Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, author of Financial Infidelity.